Thank you O’Jaded One for sharing your Stillwater douchetales! We love to have our readers share so everyone else realizes that no matter where you live, douche nozzles are around every corner. Keep ’em comin!
Dear Lady at table 24…
It is not my fault that you look like Ursala from The Little Mermaid, and it is not my fault that the ‘blush wine’ you ordered is not on our Happy Hour menu. It is also not my fault that you are stupid. So, do NOT scream at me in the middle of the dining room because YOU can’t read. If the $4 is really that important to you, perhaps you and your ASS should not have ordered the Tiramisu AND the Lava cake. Bitch.
Dear DoucheNozzle at table 46…
It is not my co-worker’s fault that you have a small dick. She is an EXCELLENT server and was much more patient than I ever would have been with your snarky comments.
How dare you treat anyone that way… and please tell your friend that I apologize that I do not have teleportation powers and had to walk to get more toilet paper for the bathroom. But that does not give him the right to scoff at me, go back to the table and get his linen napkin to use to wipe his ass. If you want to act like this in public, go to White Castle. Just so you know, we made a voodoo model of your vehicle and smashed it into the side of a brick wall.
We love contributions from our readers! Click on Submit Your Shit above and tell us your douchetales.
Bar Trash 
Voodoo vehicles and douchenozzles. Loves!