10 Naughty Cocktails That’ll Make Yo Momma Blush

Posted: March 30, 2011 by VT in Daily Ramblings

As our loyal readers know, the divebardiva is taking a well deserved vacation. (Hotlanta just got a whole lot hotter.) And boy, are you guys pissed. Site visits have plummeted since the diva skipped town. Relax, peeps — it’s just for a few days. And then the hilarity will once again ensue. Cross my heart.

In the meantime, for the handful of you who are still visiting our blog (THANK YOU!!!), I wanted to bring you some unique drink recipes to serve at your bar or next soiree. And what’s more fun than a naughty cocktail with an equally naughty name?

Ya know ya get a secret little thrill when you order a “Pink Panty Pulldown,” “Buttery Nipple” or a “Screaming Orgasm.” They’re just fun to say in public. But those are a little tired, dontcha think? So here’s my list of:

10 Naughty Cocktails That’ll Make Yo Momma Blush

1. Death by Sex 
[Hey when it’s my time, this is the way to go!]

  • 1 1/2 oz. Vodka  
  • 1/2 oz. Southern Comfort 
  • 1/2 oz. Amaretto 
  • 1/2 oz. Sloe Gin 
  • 1/2 oz. Triple Sec 
  • 1 oz. Peach Schnapps 
  • Splash O.J.
  • Splash Cran

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker. Shake with ice and serve.

2. Menage a Trois
[Three ingredients, one helluva good time.]

  • 1 oz. Dark rum
  • 1 oz. Triple sec
  • 1. oz. Light cream

Fill shaker halfway with ice cubes. Combine 1 oz. of each ingredient, shake well, and strain into a cocktail glass.

3. Cheaterita
[I think I’ll drink this the next time I’m with the lovely Homorita.]

  • 2 oz Tequila
  • 6 oz. Limeade
  • 1 Slice Lime 
Combine tequila, limeade and ice in a highball glass. Squeeze lime, stir and serve.  
4. Tie Me to The Bedpost
[Fun name, pain in the ass to make.]

Equal parts:

  • Malibu
  • Peach Schnapps
  • Southern Comfort
  • Amaretto
  • Splash O.J.
  • Splash Pineapple
  • Dash Grenadine
  • Shot of Sprite

Shake well in mixing glass with ice and strain.

5. Absolutly Horny
[Call your doc if your erection lasts more than four hours. Or call me.]

  • 2 oz. Banana Liqeur
  • 2 oz. Vodka, Absolut of course  
  • 2 oz. Crown  
  • 2 oz. Peach Schnapps
  • 3 oz. Cran 
  • 3 oz. Pineapple

Build over a glass of ice. Stir and enjoy.

6. Hot Lesbian Sex

  • 1/2 oz Cherry Brandy  
  • 1/2 oz Peach Brandy  
  • 1/2 oz Peach Schnapps 
  • 1 Splash 151 Rum
Add equal parts of both brandys and the peach schnapps in a shot glass. Top with 151, set fire to it and serve. [Had to include this one for the divebardiva. No, she’s not a lesbian. Just a fan of using fire to add a little drama to the evening.]
7. Ass Candy
  • 3 oz. Amaretto 
  • 12 oz. Cherry Cola 
Fill your glass with ice and add Amaretto. Slowly pour the Cherry cola over the top and stir. 
[Those who read my Disaronno post know I’m not a fan of Amaretto. But I desperately want to try this drink just cuz of the name. Two Ass Candies, por favor! BOTTOMS UP!]

8. Screaming Sex with the Bartender
[Don’t mind if I do.]

  • 1 oz. 151 Rum
  • 1 oz. Strawberry Schnapps 
  • 1 oz. Vodka
  • 2 Splashes Cran 
  • Fill with O.J.  

Mix ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake and strain into glass.

9. Wyoming Legspreader
[Is this what people drink in Wyoming? Where the hell is Wyoming?]

  • 1 oz. Coke
  • 1/2 oz. Grain Alcohol
  • 2 oz. Raspberry Liqueur

Shake and enjoy.

10. Brunettes Can Be Sluts, Too
[The redhead’s easy friend.]

  • 1 oz. Crown
  • 1/2 oz. Raspberry Liqueur
  • 1 oz. Triple Sec 
  • 1 oz. Cran 
  • 1 oz. Sprite  
Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into shot glasses.

So there you have it, my lovelies! Hope these make your next gathering a little more potent and playful.

Love and Liquor,

Vodka Toxic
Know some great drink recipes? Click on “Get Your Drink On” above!

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