You Ask, We Answer: “How Do You Know When It’s Time to Cut Someone Off?”

Posted: April 12, 2011 by divebardiva in Q&A: Ask Your Bartender

Okay people, it’s time for our weekly ‘You Ask, We Answer’ segment. Basically this is the time where you have questions, and we try to figure out what the hell you want.

Now normally, I can pretty much guess what people want. I’m pretty good at it, if I must say so myself…and clearly because this is our blog…I must. But occasionally you guys are out on the town without the benefit of having your Bar Trash peeps along with you. As unfortunate as that is, we will answer a few questions every week to make sure you are always prepared.

Q:  How do you know when it’s time to cut someone off? And how do you do it with the least chance for drama?

A: This can be an extremely difficult task. Sometimes, there’s just no way to get anything done in a bar without drama. Occasionally, there’s an act that leads up to the cut-off. Let’s say a fight or a puking incident. There is also the “I’ve spilled my last two on the bar” situation. In all of these cases, it’s pretty damn clear that it’s time for the hoopla to cease.

However, if none of these incidents are forthcoming, I try to be a sweet as possible and tell them that I cannot in good conscience serve them any more alcohol. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it just doesn’t.

I never cut people off just because they’ve had a certain number of drinks. And that’s because alcohol tolerance varies. Everyone is different. I’ve been known to out drink a dude who weighed 100 lbs. more than me. I’m not overly proud of that … just stating a fact.

There are also other factors that affect tolerance. For example, certain medications (and by “medications” I clearly mean that shit you bought from that shady dude you know). Oxycodone, valium, xanax and klonopin have a “I’m gettin sleepy” effect.

On the other hand, meds like adderall can prolong your partying experience by making you think that you have all the energy in the world — when in reality you’re adding fuel to a dumpster fire. Nobody likes a hyperactive drunk. You’re spazzy and stupid. Nuff said.

I personally don’t recommend pills and booze. But that’s just me. These combos increase your chances of getting a “no-booze-for-you” reprimand from the bartender.

Also, and this is for the ladies (so guys…earmuffs please): If it’s 1 to 3 days before you will be “draggin a rope” as the cool kids put it…be careful about your alcohol consumption. I am not sure of the medical reasonings here but I have been witness to the occasional blackout results.

Q: What’s the worst mistake you’ve made on the job?

A: The words mistake and divebardiva rarely go together however there have been a few exceptions.

  1. Turning down a vodka shot on the job which caused the boss to throw a shot glass at my head.
  2. Dating a coworker. Never a good idea. Period. If you break up, they have an annoying habit of coming in with a different skank every week on their night off, making out like they were on The Titanic, and that bitch was sinkin like a stone.
  3. Applying for any position that the owner’s girlfriend has also applied for and thinking that there is a snowball’s chance in hell that you’re gonna get it.
  4. And lastly, not going to the hospital to have the end of my finger sewn back on when I cut it on a glass. It still throbs like a bitch whenever I hit it on something. However, we were busy and there just wasn’t time for emergency room shenanigans.

Q: If you’re buying a round of shots for a large group, what’s a safe bet … a shot most people will like?

A: As much as it pains me to say this..raspberry or watermelon Kami’s are a good choice for any large party of people. Boring as hell…but safe, and everyone will usually happily consume.

So, that is it for today folks. Thanks ya’ll and happy drinking 🙂

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