It’s Not Easy Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Posted: April 29, 2011 by divebardiva in Daily Ramblings

Okay people, this one is going to be short and sweet cause I’ve got things to do and not a lot of damn time to get them done before my Friday-Sunday work week. To add to the fun, it’s one of my drunken whore’s birthdays — and we have a special “Wanna Play” event at the bar this weekend.

Pretty sure my weekend itinerary will be taking a toll on me physically and mentally. But at the end of it, I’ll have a pocket full of cash (and new hair!). And I’ll be pretty damn happy about the whole thing.

So this morning, I’ve been thinking about my bartending life and the cute boys who have floated in and out of it. Everyone will tell you that meeting someone at a bar is a terrible way to start a relationship.

Well, being a full-time bartender for 20+ years made any other scenario highly unlikely. Plus, drinking gets rid of these pesky little things I like to call inhibitions. (Now really people, do we really need those anyway? I think not.) So combine the two — me, always in a bar, surrounded by boys with no inhibitions, and you can figure out how most of my dalliances started.

It’s usually worked out okay for me. But then again, since I’m on the job, I’m usually sober enough to avoid making stupid shit-faced decisions. And, since it’s my job to talk to people, I have the opportunity to have decent conversations before anything progresses.

But for the girls partying at the bar, it’s not so easy. Even if you’re a professional — drinkin tequila like it’s your job — you know there are guys out there who view you as the limpy gazelle. You’ve seen it before, and there ain’t no fuckin way you’ll ever be some douchebag’s prey.

So you’re sitting there tossin back a few, and a guy comes up to conversate. You assume he’s lookin for an easy score. You give him the verbal smack-down and then leave him by the wayside like a piece of trash waiting for the chain gang to stab his ass with one of those little pokers.

So was he a jerk who deserved your wrath? Maybe. Probably. But since the guy only got three words out of his mouth before you unleashed on his ass, you’ll never be sure.

Another scenario harkens me back to my days in NYC when my best friend Doobie and I were pounding a few back at a local spot. He was madly in love with the hot girl bartender, and I was madly in lust with the hot boy bartender.

I was chatting with a group of guys — having just moved to the Big Apple from Atlanta and being a social person in general. Doobie leans over and quietly tells me, “The guys you’re drinkin shots with all believe there’s a strong possibility that you’ll sleep with them.”

I told him to get the fuck out, as I am known to do.

He then says something that still burns in my ears when I think about it. He says, “They think you’re interested because you’re being nice and paying attention to them. The girls around here won’t give them the time of day.”

“Whatever dude,” I think.

Later, he gestures to the end of the bar. I look over, and there’s a sweet dorky guy walking up to this girl. He barely speaks before she looks him dead in the eye and says, “I don’t FUCKING think so.” Loud enough for everyone to hear. Gotta love those bad-ass New York chicks.

For Doobie, it was check AND mate.

When someone approaches you, it’s really easy to give the cold shoulder. And maybe 90% are scumbags who deserve it. But what about the other 10%. What if we’re blowing off some really good stuff in the process?

So for this weekend of drunken frivolity, I want you to try something. When you’re at the bar or da club, and someone comes up to chat, talk to them. Booze or no booze, it’s hard to get up the stones to go and talk to a pretty girl or hot guy. And you never know what might happen.

I realize this post may reek of Carrie Bradshaw. But I’m feeling a little sentimental. And deep down, the divebardiva is a romantic at heart. (But fear not, my bitterness will be returning full throttle after a weekend of drunken shenanigans.)

So happy drinking this weekend, people. Have fun and do…I mean try…something new. 🙂 And don’t forget that we here at Bar Trash want everyone to get where they’re going asses intact. So call a cab or designate a driver.

And this concludes our public-service announcement/afterschool special for today.

All the love and liquor you can ingest,


  1. Pretty says:

    Love this post. And truth be told, I met my absolutly amazing husband in a bar I was working at…. We have 2 beautiful boys and have been together for 11 years. Fuck that’s a long time 🙂

  2. […] It’s Not Easy Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places […]

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