Seated Reverse Cowgirl…

Posted: May 21, 2011 by divebardiva in Daily Ramblings

Okay people, now that I got your attention (because you are all sexual miscreants and general pervs), here’s today’s real topic. A favorite bar gone by.

As I have a tendency to have what are called “night terrors,”sometimes I don’t sleep well — or at all. Lucky for you bitches that last night I would rather stay up than be murdered in my sleep repeatedly in a myriad of ways.

As I was laying listening to the fan, a car drove by with the windows down and radio cranked. Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” was the DJ’s choice for the 2:30 timeslot. I know, I know, cheesy oldies rock.

However, this song reminded me of one of my very favorite dive bars which unfortunately no longer exists. Probably replaced by a coffee shop or some other such nonsense.

This bar was in an area of Atlanta that was literally surrounded by some of the best gay bars in the city. Bars with rooftop decks and drag shows. Twenty-four hour joints where you could get anything and do anything…anytime you damn well pleased. In the middle of this small Bacchanalia there was the Stein Club.

The special on Monday nights was $5 pitchers. The nights that I worked at The Vortex down the street, and The Stein was closing early, they would actually call to see if we were coming over because then they would stay open. Ya gotta love a bar that will stay open for a select few. Of course, we drank our body weight and tipped like rock stars, but it was still a really nice gesture.

Our bartenders name on Monday’s was Lenny…at least I think it was. Damn that memory loss. (What causes that? Hell if I can remember.) Anyway, I always used to think it was funny that Lenny would just smoke right behind the bar, but on his breaks he would go outside and do this elaborate stretching. Being the old ass bartender that I am now, of course I totally get it. Back then I was 22, a spry little peep if I do say so myself.

One night, there was a whole group of people making a pyramid of cans out of the unbelievable amount of beers they had consumed. The aforementioned “Brown Eyed Girl” came on the jukebox and everyone in the whole place started to sway back and forth and sing. If I would not have just arrived, I would have just chalked it up to a drunken hallucination (don’t judge, you know you’ve had one) and called it a night.

This revelry went on for the entire song and just as it ended…the beer can pyramid could stand no longer. As it crashed to the bar floor, everyone cheered. I felt like I was in a movie. A few shots of tequila and a ride home from a cute boy with an old convertible topped off the night. The fact that the car’s ragtop didn’t work — and it rained on us the whole way — just added to that “stuck in a cinema” feeling.

So that’s it for today folks. Moral of today’s story is enjoy your dives while you have them because someday they will be fond memories that you share on long car trips and vacations.

Do you have a favorite dive bar story? Send it to us on “Submit Your Shit” and we will throw it up for ya. And you can give yourself a cool code name too. 🙂

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