Crazy from the Heat: When Fair Weather Brings Foul Customers

Posted: June 7, 2011 by divebardiva in Common Sense ... Not So Common

Okay people, I know that a general lack of common sense shouldn’t shock a person like me. Yet, whenever situations happen like the ones that occurred this weekend, I’m once again taken by complete surprise.

My little dive is the best place in the whole wide word — especially during the summer months. It has a tiki bar next to a lake and an awesome patio with a huge waterfall. Here in the great white north, summer is a fleeting experience and winter is just waaaaaay too fucking long. We like to enjoy our summers to the fullest extent.

The thing about my little slice of workplace heaven is that it started out as a small hangout for the Bossman and a couple of regulars. Year after year, it’s gotten bigger and bigger as more people spread the good word — particularly during the summer months when everyone wants to be drinking outside.

But here’s the thing: Our kitchen is the same size every day of the year. I would call it cozy. Everyone else calls it small. And it doesn’t magically double  in size during the summer.

Despite its size, the kitchen is set up for maximum efficiency. But when the population of the bar explodes on any given warm-weather day, there are going to be some time issues. The thing that kills me — and something that me and the staff discuss on a regular basis — is how people handle this particular problem.

Here are examples of the difficult situations we sometimes encounter with the bigger crowds — and the resulting irritating behaviors from a select few customers:

1. We tell you when you sit down that the wait for food is one hour: You say, “No problem.” But after 20 minutes, you start bitching about the wait. I’m sorry. In my world, an hour is 60 minutes. Where was the fucking miscommunication, ya moron?

2. We make a mistake with your order: We apologize and explain the busy kitchen situation. We correct the order, comp the item AND buy you a cocktail for your troubles. You then take it out on your waitress by leaving her a cheap-ass, measly 10 percent.

But here’s the bipolar kicker: You write “thank you for the very good service” on the check. If you’re aware that the mistake wasn’t her fault, why screw her over? She neither owns the place or cooks the food. We more than made up for the mix-up, so you leaving a shoddy tip just proves you’re an ass.

3. We don’t have an empty table. You tell me (over and over) that you come here all the time in an effort to get a free drink/appetizer/whatever to make up for the 10-minute wait. Or to convince me that you should be able to bypass the line of folks ahead of you.

Okay, last year was my first summer. So back then I wouldn’t have known if you were a regular or not. But guess what, dumbass, I know ALL our loyal customers. And besides, if you came here all the time, you’d know that our patio is busy on warm days so there may be a short wait.

Let’s not take out our misguided frustrations on the wonderful people who are busting their asses in the heat. In fact, let’s not take it out on anyone, shall we? Just suck it up, have another cocktail and look on the bright side:

  • The weather is gorgeous.
  • You’re outside
  • You have a cold drink in your hand.

And while you’re relaxing and enjoying the day, we’re working. Keep that in mind and try to be a little bit more appreciative and understanding. That way, we can all enjoy the summer.

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