Manners: If You Don’t Have Any…Hit The Bricks

Posted: July 13, 2011 by divebardiva in Daily Ramblings

Okay people, here is how things are playing out today. First of all let me say that it was a fantastic weekend at my little dive. Everyone pulled their weight, and there wasn’t a complaint to be had.

I know it may not seem like a big deal to many of you but when things are moving along in a seamless fashion, I feel almost weightless. My mood improves exponentially in direct relation to how much cash I am bringin in and how effortless that cash is to acquire.

It’s simple mathematics really. Just like a bartender’s tips are directly related to how good they are (for the most part), a bar can only make as much money as the staff allows by putting out a great product and giving exemplary service.

Now, I have to say that it is not just the staff who make a place but also the customers. Each and every weekend I think to myself, “Wow, these guys are a blast. I wish they came in every day.” Or, “Jesus, whatever happened to manners, and why do people think they can get by without having any?”

This weekend was lovely for more than one reason and a large part of my happiness — beyond the no complaints situation — was that people out there are starting to read the signs. When you order something in a douchy manner with nary a please or thank you, I have a tendency to give people the stink eye.

I mean really folks, is it that hard to say “please” instead of, “Hey gimme some Marb Reds.” I think not. It seems as if there has been a seismic shift and when I look at people (like I may very well smack the manners back into them), they are returning my eye of shame with, “Oh, sorry…can I please have a pack of Marb Reds?” A few of them even added ma’am.

Now, I know some people have issues with the word ma’am. But I grew up military-style and also spent 11 years in the South — so ma’am to me is awesome. I get it that life hasn’t been as kind to some and that ma’am makes them feel every bit their age.

Hey, they may not have perfected the alcohol regimen that seems to be preserving me like formaldehyde. I also know the difference of inflection that comes with ma’am. Sometimes ma’am said in the right way clearly means: Bitch. However, I like manners and the people at my bar this weekend who had the good sense to use them.

Give it a try people. Be extra polite when cable shuts your shit off … I bet they turn it back on. If you have to send something back, be nice about it. It happens; no need to freak the fuck out. And hey, if you see an old lady in 95 degree heat trying to load groceries in her car — how about giving her a hand and putting the cart back for her? Honestly, it will make you feel like a million bucks and take a couple of clicks off the douche-o-meter.

Okay folks, that is the lesson for today. Please send in your questions and ideas and if you are a server out there I am putting together a “Now You’re Just Pissing Me Off!” entry that just highlights the basics of what people can do to NOT be such ass clowns when they go out. EX: Do not order from the bar if you are sitting at a table and things of that nature. So please, get off yer asses and send in your complaints so I can start making my list. We are also compiling a list of some of the best bartenders EVER with a few highlights of why… So show’em if ya got’em!

With love and liquor,

  1. Pretty says:

    Like! Like this one!!!

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