Dear Arrogant A-Hole

Posted: October 15, 2011 by VT in Daily Ramblings

Here at Bar Trash, we love — no, we ADORE — our bartenders. It can be tough dealing with all the cheapskates, jackholes and douchenozzles that frequent drinking establishments. Being a good bartender means you have to put up with all the crap from bad customers, while at the same time making sure you’re delivering top-notch service to your good customers. It’s not an easy gig.

Yes, we love our bartenders. That’s why it’s so disappointing when you come across the rare drink slinger who really doesn’t give a crap about the customers or providing good service. The divebardiva and I came across just such a prick during her recent visit.

Dear Arrogant Asshole,

When we sat down at your bar, you came over to take our drink order. Or at least that’s what we thought. But instead of saying hello or getting us cocktails, you bragged that you were one of the finalists in a Bacardi bartender contest and told us we should go on FaceBook to vote for you.

So we appeased you and told you we would check it out. You finally got around to getting us our drinks. The divebardiva — in a great mood because she was on vacation … and with me — gave you the benefit of the doubt and grabbed her phone. She went to the page you requested and clicked on the “like” button or whatever to give you her vote.

Once that was done, you decided that we had served our purpose and moved on to the other unsuspecting patrons to tell them how awesome you are. We finished our drinks, and the empty glasses sat in front of us begging to be refilled. But you were too fucking busy plugging your lame-ass bartender contest to even notice.

Dude, I hate to break it to you but you are not Tom Cruise in Cocktail. You are not working in an exclusive New York City club. You work in a beach bar in Boca Raton serving Chardonnay to cougars wearing too much leopard-print and gold jewelry. The only reason we wandered in is because it was around the corner from our hotel … and we thought it would be a good place to have a drink and an appetizer before we headed to the real party bar.

You have the distinction of providing the worst service I’ve ever had from a bartender. Embarrassingly bad. With only eight customers at the bar, six of them had empty glasses because you were (rather desperately) trying to get votes from the other two.

When we FINALLY got your attention and asked for another round, you sighed like we were somehow inconveniencing you before you begrudgingly got us our libations. I know it’s completely appalling that someone would actually want to order a drink from a bar. So for that, I apologize.

Dude, you are not the shit. But your attitude sure is. You have no respect for your customers, your craft or for your employer … who I’m sure wouldn’t have been too thrilled that you were only interested in plugging your stupid contest and not focusing on the paying patrons.

Oh — and you’re not half as hot as you think you are. I think you’ve spent too much time at the beach which would explain the sun damage on your face.

Hugs & Kisses,
Vodka Toxic

P.S. Signed up for the blog yet? Enter your email at the bottom of the home page. The divebardiva has promised beer and hookers in the afterlife if ya do!

  1. divebardiva says:

    I could not have said this better myself! Sadly, he did not win the contest in question…maybe my daily vote would have helped…alas I could not be bothered, much like he couldn’t be bothered to get us more damn drinks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s