Best Pickup Lines … Ever!

“Baby, if you were a door, I’d slam you all night long.” What loser lines have you heard? Or what ones actually made your panties drop? Share!

Comments
  1. kimber143 says:

    A guy walked up to me and the Dive Bar Diva at a fine Atlanta establishment. “Baby, I’d pay big money to lick your spine.” Ew.

  2. kimber143 says:

    Okay, this one’s just bad:

    “Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.”

  3. Vodka Toxic says:

    I was out partying with a girlfriend on Halloween. She had the best line ever. She would walk up to a dude, smile and say, “Oh, I know what you’re dressed as for Halloween.” (Keep in mind she would say this only to guys in their normal clothes … not costumes.)

    The guy would look at her, confused, and say, “What?”

    And she would reply, “A cute boy who wants to make out with me.”

    Brilliant!

  4. SilverBack says:

    Hey! Wait! Oh, never mind. I thought you were the one …

  5. Vodka Toxic says:

    One of my gays uses this line when he meets a hot guy:

    “Hi. I fuck on the first date.”

  6. divebardiva says:

    This isn’t so much of a pick up line as it is the t-shirt I made for New Years a few years ago.

    “Why don’t you just tell me how big your dick is and we can dispense with all the chit chat.”

    I am pretty sure with the right person this would work as a pick up line no problem.

  7. Jon says:

    A friend of mine shared one of the greatest lines I’ve ever heard simply because it often worked. He was a normal dude, not a looker, but his line reeked of cleverness and often stunned the recipient into laughter and subsequent conversation. He closed more often than not.

    “Excuse me, but do you like apples?”

    “Um, huh?”

    “Do you like apples?”

    “Yeah, sure. I like apples.”

    “I like apples, too! Wanna fuck?”

  8. O' Jaded One says:

    “Hey, Baby. You wanna get a six-pack and fuck or don’t you drink?”

    I’ve never laughed so hard and thrown a drink in someone’s face so fast.

  9. DJ SEXXX JELLAY says:

    This one might work in the right setting;

    “How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fried, scrambled or fertilized?”

  10. Once&Future_ManMagnet says:

    Heard this one once:
    Are you a magnet cuz im attracted to you

    How about you do a post on good jokes to tell in bars in leiu of pickup lines? 😉

    • divebardiva says:

      Will do ManMagnet, I will do the research this weekend and poll my fine bar peeps to see what I can come up with. Thank you for your patronage…we do love our Bar Trash followers!

  11. Server X says:

    So my lovely sister and I were out were out one night having some cocktails when a guy comes over to us and says “Hey ladies what’s up, I’m _______. My friend is too shy to come over here but that is ok I’m into threesomes.”

    Before I could even respond, my sister turns to him with the sweetest smile and replys “Hi _____, nice to meet you. I am unavailible and this is my sister uninterested.”

    • divebardiva says:

      Okay…this may be the best thing that anyone has said, EVER. You seriously need to contribute to the blog because you are funny as hell and we here at Bar Trash covet the funny!

  12. i still like the one from ps i love you, i just have never had the balls to actually use it. the friend (fibi) uses it at the funeral.

    Girl: nice tie, are you single
    guy: yes
    girl: are you gay
    guy: no
    girl: do you have a job
    guy: yes

    then she kisses him. if you don’t like any of the previous answers before kiss, you walk away… or if you don’t like the kiss, walk away… something along them lines, but hilarious.

    lets not waste any time with the unneccesary chit chat. get to the point and be done with it. can’t beat that… 😀

    • divebardiva says:

      I cannot agree more. Life is too short to chat with someone all night long and then kiss them and feel nothing…there’s a few hours of your life you’re never getting back. Thanks for the submission ‘Single and luvin it’!

  13. Vodka Toxic says:

    One of my guy friends told me this one … he says it has a pretty good success rate …

    Do you work for UPS? Because I saw you inspecting my package.

  14. Jon says:

    A great conversation changer when Miss Potential trys to cock block with the phrase guys love to hear:

    “I just want you to know that I’m in a relationship.”

    “Really? I used to have two turtles when I was a kid.”

    Her confused scrunchy face follows with a “What?”

    “Oh, I though we were talking things that are irrelevant.”

    • Vodka Toxic says:

      That’s awesome!!! And thank you, Jon, for your continued support. You have the honor of being our very first subscriber. And the divebardiva and I love you for it!

  15. Vodka Toxic says:

    Heard a couple new ones. Kinda lame but cute.

    Do you have any raisins? No? Then how about a date?

    You’ve been a bad boy. Now go to my room.

    Are you a parking ticket, because you got FINE written all over you.

  16. Server X says:

    Not five seconds after my Fiancee left me alone at the bar one night a guy is on my like a fly on stink. His opening line was “So you got kids?” I reply “No, I do not.” He says “Want to go make some?”

    Not tempting in the slightest.

  17. Mr. Parx says:

    “Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform?”

  18. Vodka Toxic says:

    From Glamour Puss …

    Excuse me, aren’t you a little early? The hot chick contest doesn’t start until 11.

    Fellas, take note! This one has potential. Girls love guys who can make them laugh. And they also love compliments.

  19. Tater Paul says:

    Stole this of one of my buddies t-shirts. “I came here tonight to drink beer and fuck hot chicks and would like to let you know that I’m about done drinking”

  20. Phill rabbit says:

    u must like your hair pulled.U play with it a awfull lott!

  21. Durden815 says:

    “Hey baby! You wanna come back to my place? I’ve got this super awesome sink you should see.”

  22. clamobin says:

    Here’s a line I stole from my dad
    “You’re beautiful, but you’d look a whole lot better with my balls on your chin.”

  23. csbrock says:

    Hey guys this one has worked for me many times.
    Approach a babe in the bar and ‘accidentally’ touch her with your knee then say…I’m sorry I kneed (need) you or I need you.It works,no shit!

  24. casey says:

    Do you have a quarter? because I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

  25. casey says:

    Are you Hawain? because you can dice my pineapples any time.

  26. casey says:

    If we were dogs we could dance doggiestyle.

  27. casey says:

    Is your dad a baker? “Girl:no” Then how did you become such a cutie pie.

  28. nobody cares says:

    Get your buddy to hit on a girl with stupid lines,then make your way over to where she can see you,kind of give her a look like (you poor thing). Walk over to her say hi babe and give her a peck on the cheek.The guy leaves you introduce yourself and wala you have a conversation ice breaker.

  29. tim says:

    Good ice breaker. Be ready for a few rude chicks. But there are some cool ones who will engage in conversation if delivered correctly.

    guy:Were you raised on a chicken farm?

    Girl: hell no.

    guy: you sure? (In a semi squeaky voice with a smerk and raised brow)

    girl: I said no.

    guy: well you sure know how to raise cocks. (Laughing) be funny not perverted.

  30. B says:

    do you like dragons? well ill be draggin my nuts on your forehead tonight 😀

  31. justin coolman says:

    Not so much I pickup line… did you fall from heaven?!?!?! Cause it looked like you landed on you face…

  32. TRAVIS says:

    YOU: SPELL ME
    HER: ME
    YOU: YOU FORGOT THE D
    HER: THERES NO D IN ME
    YOU: NOT YET

    ANOTHER ONE
    ARE YOU PREGNANT GIRL
    DO YOU WANNA BE

  33. Ruan says:

    You probably gonna get a smack in your face but yeah. This a good pickup line to use on a girl.

    Guy: hey baby, there’s a party tomorrow night.

    Girl: Where?

    Guy: In your mouth, im cumming!

  34. TOMMY says:

    ” If you were a booger i’d pick you first!

  35. $$$ Madboss $$$ says:

    Used these once at a wedding……. And they really work!!!!!! (If the mood is right and the scenery)

    A)
    Me: Hey, Was your father an Astronaut?

    Girl: Huh? Why?

    Me: He stole the stars from space and placed them in your eyes.

    B)
    Me: Is your father the best baker in town?

    Girl: Huh? What? Why?

    Me: Oh nothing……… You’re just the finest pastry he ever made.

  36. aussy says:

    Is your body from McDonalds because I am lovin it!!!

  37. My face is leaving town in half an hour. Be on it.

  38. love paladin says:

    Wow, that one is really cheesy, lol!

  39. Wade says:

    If u have 8 roses and u hold them up to a mirror u see 9 beautiful things in the world

    It works

  40. Narnia says:

    Here is a good pick up line I think

    You wanna know what’s beautiful? Read the first word again.

  41. Julia says:

    this is the 1 the boys at my school use
    ‘theirs something wtong with my phone cause it doesn’t have your number in it ;)’

  42. sean says:

    “hi,my friend over there bet i cant start a conversation with the most beutiful lady in here,wana have a drink on their money???….read it somewhere,i tried it and it worked.am kenyan though!!

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